


Enough Of Reason

by xof1013



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Drama, First Time, M/M, Slash, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-27
Updated: 2010-08-27
Packaged: 2017-10-11 06:58:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/109708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xof1013/pseuds/xof1013
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a loss, it's time to cross some lines. And "no regrets" takes on a new meaning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enough Of Reason

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: I set myself a challenge to write a pairing I'd never done before. I wanted it hot, and I wanted it serious. No parody or character decimation to be found. This fic is completely character driven, consisting mostly of Michael AND Justin's POVs. So I challenge folks of allllll shipper preferences to read the story. It may surprise you.
> 
> Special thanks: To my technical betas - Alexis and Paula. Esp. Alexis who spent hours with me as I slowly wrote each word. To my content feed backers - Kathryn Zapatka, delicious/kris and Milla - multiple hugs.
> 
> Special Note: /// . . /// denote a phone conversation.
> 
> Warnings: Spoilers for US QAF through Season 3, but with an AU twist - Stockwell never happened.

"Enough of Reason"  
By  
Xof

(May 30, 2003)

 

///

"I'm sorry, Michael. I just.... I can't let 'us' turn into a regret. And the longer we keep trying, the harder that's going to become. I think ending it now is the best thing. For both of us...." Voice low, troubled but firm in his decision.

"And ending this isn't something to regret? How can you say that? You believe it's better to be apart?" Disbelief mixed with pain.

"I can't stay, Michael. I have to think about what's best for me, and do what's right. I don't have forever. And the time I do have.... I don't want it to be filled with constant apologies and eggshell steps between the two of us. We both need something less tentative. Something or someone that will give us strength, not assurance of uncertainty." Reasoned determination that sounded with a painful sting.

"Do you regret loving me?" Voice shaken. A soft last clinging-to....

"Never that, Michael. I regret being sick. I regret the abuse I heaped onto myself, and you. I regret not having every tomorrow I could wish with you. I regret...." Volume dropping, and breath leaving in a rush.

"What? You regret what, Ben?" A snap, echoing over the line with hurt and anger.

"I regret you loving him." Matter of fact with an edge of gentle concern that didn't belay the truth of his words.

Silence.... Sounding so loudly.

"Michael. " Tentative, like he'd wanted to avoid.

More silence.... What could be said?

Resolute sigh. "I'll let you know when I get things settled after the book tour. Goodbye, Michael."

Click.

Dial tone.

////

 

Friday Night....

The words echoed even after the answering machine tape had ended. The irony of having *that* conversation recorded by accident wasn't lost on the apartment's sole occupant. The one time the crap machine hadn't stopped recording when he caught a call after the message started....and it had had to be this one. Fuck. Finding it afterwards had been almost as painful as having been through it the first time.

But considering how often it had been played back in the four days since... Maybe he was a glutton for punishment. He just couldn't erase it. Couldn't get rid of the evidence that it hadn't been a dream. That is was over....

Covering his eyes with his arm, Michael curled over on his side to face the back of the couch. If only he could have buried his pain as easily as he did his eyes, still wincing from the light shining in through the windows. But it wasn't so simple...

No matter how desperately he fought for numb, Michael could still feel the loss. Nothing was helping. Drinking left him feeling physically as wretched as he did emotionally. He'd lost the desire to eat, lucky to have managed only a couple of frozen dinners and some ice cream in the last few days. And sleeping was fitful and short lived at best.... He hadn't been into work, having pled to needing a few days off with Vic - after telling him he was going to catch a plane to visit with Ben on his book tour. He'd had to bite his tongue during the conversation, listening to Vic's teasing about needing to get laid by the brainy professor. Michael had managed to laugh, and gotten off the phone fast thereafter. He left a message on Brian's machine at the loft saying the same as he'd told Vic. Purposefully avoiding having to talk to him on his cell or at work. Hiding...

Just like after David.

Hiding from those he didn't want to face in the mist of failing, again. It seemed to be his pattern. When he got left, he dealt with it alone. Badly, but alone. Excusing it to himself that he needed to not be ridiculed or pitied by his family and friends.

But unlike with David, this hurt a lot worse. And he didn't want to think about why.... Didn't want to compare the extent of how much of his heart he'd extended only to have it shoved back at him; how much of his concern and attempts to understand had driven a wider wedge between he and Ben. But mostly he didn't want to admit how fucking angry he was. At Ben. At himself.... For giving everything, even in the face of death and having it not found to be enough. Good enough.

Dammit, he was enough. He'd done everything. Accepted everything. But only to a point...

Michael had insisted the steroid abuse end, and been told it had. He'd accepted Ben's word. Only to be proved wrong as his lover had relapsed into using again - until Ben was forced to give them up finally only after his doctor warned him about the damage it was doing to his liver. Michael had reluctantly accepted Hunter into their home, despite his fears. He'd done his best to help him, protect him - from the teen's harpy mother, from the cops. Only having been saved from arrest by Horvath's intervention.

After finding Hunter a place to stay, with a kind gay-friendly couple that Deb knew, Michael had hoped he and Ben would be as they'd been before. But Ben had been too preoccupied by his newest project - finishing a book he'd begun before meeting Michael, about homoerotic aesthetics in modern culture - to see the strain the whole thing had caused to Michael, and to their relationship. The book finished, and quickly published - to Ben's credit, and that of the publisher who'd been waiting for the manuscript to be completed for months - six months passed and then off Ben went to start his lecture series, cum book tour through the collegiate circuit. And still Michael was Mr. Understanding... The good boyfriend, who placated his lover way too often in way too may things.

Only to come home to Ben's voice on the machine, rushing to catch the call....and then the rest that had been said between them.

The tears were spent quickly. He'd cried in pain, he'd cried in anger and he'd cried in loss. Then he'd stopped crying, lacking the strength to bother. Beginning his private fight for numb....

But becoming more and more resigned to not being able to find the relief. So he reasoned as he lay on the couch, that he needed to get out. To put a public face on and see if by living out amongst his friends, he'd be able to not feel the hurt as much. He'd done it after ending thing with David. Sucking up most of the pain, until he could look past it.

'It's not a lie if they make you lie.' One of Brian's favorite theories. Michael wondered if it worked that way if you were lying to yourself.

He doubted it....

* * * * * * *

Saturday Morning....

"You're not getting out of this, Michael. So don't try." Justin's voice sounded over the phone with amusement. He was walking down the street about a block from the comic book store, having heard from Vic at the diner that Michael was back to work. It had surprised him, and all those stuffed in the booth that morning for breakfast - that not only had Michael come back early from his visit with Ben, but that he hadn't contacted anyone. Why come back two days early? And why wouldn't he have called to check in with Melanie? She was in her last month, only a week or so from her due date. And he'd made it a point to come by or call every day to check on her and their child. But nothing for almost a week. Why for that matter had he not talked to Brian?

Justin had noticed Brian's attempts to seem indifferent, even as he listened to every word Vic said on the subject of his best friend. He'd even refrained from making his usual round of snide comments, at Michael's and everyone else's expense.

It was the quietness, the eyes that looked down into his coffee while seeing nothing - lost in inner thought, which caused Justin concern. Brian had been that way for days now, even before Michael's departure. The two friends had seen less and less of each other in the past few weeks. With Michael always being with Ben or looking in on Melanie, and Brian being so busy at work or out with him, their contact grew less and less.

Justin had been happy at spending time with Brian. So much so, that he'd not noticed his lover becoming withdrawn. But now...with Ben out of town, he was sure that some time on the town would do them both good. Hence the conversation with Michael on his cell....

At Michael's next attempt to get out of Justin's invitation, Justin grinned as he played his trump card. "I've got the preliminary sketches done for Rage 4. I'll bring them to Woody's if you come." He stopped outside the store, pushing the door open as he waited for Michael to answer. What he saw made him drop the arm that held his phone, cell gripped tightly in his hand despite his surprise.

Michael, his back to the door, was leaning his head against the wall behind the counter. One hand on the flat surface as he shook his head from side to side in the negative, even as his voice sighed through the small room into the phone. "Alright. But just to Woody's, okay? I'm not...."

Frowning at Michael's hunched posture, Justin asked, "You're not what?" When the other name jumped and turned around, Justin's frown grew. The man looked haggard. Large circles darkening the skin under his eyes, made very obvious against his pale face. He hadn't shaved in what look like days and his hair was a mess, like he'd walked out of the house straight from bed and not remembered to comb it. Very not Michael, in other words. "What's wrong, Michael?" Justin hoped it wasn't Ben.

Michael hung up his phone, still a bit startled by Justin's sudden appearance. The first person-to-person contact he'd had with the inner circle of his life since, well . . . since Ben. "Hey, Justin." When he didn't continue, or answer Justin's question - Michael had to smile briefly at the frowning expression on the youth's face. Only a small smile, but still it hurt. Felt funny on his face. "Having trouble sleeping, that's all."

Justin laughed, "With the workout Ben must have put you through, I'm surprised you're not still burrowed down in dream land." He grinned, seeing Michael ducking his head - thinking for a moment that it was in embarrassment, until he saw Michael's eyes close. He watched as the other man unconsciously ran a hand through the mussed hair at the back of his neck. Justin lost his smile as Michael tried to sound out a laugh that didn't ring true.

"Yeah, well. Maybe the flying didn't agree with me."

Still not convinced that Michael was telling the whole truth, Justin asked, "Nothing else bothering you?" At the negative shake of Michael's head, he pressed for more details. It was a part of Justin's nature after all. When he wanted to know something, he usually didn't give up until he found out all the details. His persistence almost always paid off. Otherwise he'd have never had the patience to still be with Brian, to have established his place in his lover's life. "How's Ben?"

Michael sat down on the stool behind the counter, trying to look busy as he answered with false cheer. "He's good. The tour's going really well. Seems satisfied with his choice to . . go." 'To leave me,' he thought.

Leaning on the counter, Justin grinned. "I'm glad the book's doing well. It was really good. And hot." He whispered conspiratorially, as if to draw Michael in on a secret. "Almost as hot as the dedication he wrote to you. Something about chocolate eyes and lips to drown in...." He laughed again as Michael ducked his head. But he stopped when he saw Michael's eyes shining as they met his again. It was a look he misinterpreted. "Yeah, he's coming back in a month. That isn't too long, right?"

Michael dug his fingernails into his thigh under the counter as he smiled. "Nah, I'm just amazed, that's all."

"At what? Ben's success?"

Arching his eyebrow, Michael answered in a really serious tone. "That you actually read the book. It has really big words in it. Some with even three and four syllables."

There was a beat of time, and then Justin cracked up - laughing harder as Michael joined him. Whipping off tears of laughter from his eyes. Or so Justin thought...

"Fuck you, Michael." Justin shook his head in amusement. Snarky Michael. Now that was interesting. Interesting and fun to see.

Michael didn't answer with words; instead he stuck out his tongue at Justin. Missing the way Justin's eyes widened at the gesture, Michael stood to walk from behind the counter. He went into the back, to grab his last inventory printouts.

Justin drew in a breath, a bit stunned. Without any doubt, Michael Novotny had the longest tongue he'd ever seen. It look practically wicked. Just thinking about what a man could do with....

Shaking his head, Justin laughed. Ben was a lucky man.

When Michael returned, Justin asked, "So it's yes to Woody's?"

Unconsciously hugging his arms around himself as he plastered on yet another smile, Michael agreed. "Yeah, okay. I'll meet you both there at nine. We can go over the sketches and pretend to not notice Brian's acting bored while not-so-secretly getting his usual Rage ego-boost."

Justin grinned, "It is one of his better looks."

With his first true laugh of the day, Michael smiled. "Don't think he doesn't know that...."

Shaking his head, Justin hummed his agreement. He checked his pockets, putting up his cell phone as he prepared to leave. "Catch yah tonight."

"Yeah, tonight." Michael turned back to the computer, already punching in numbers he could barely focus on. He'd forgotten how much energy it took to appear normal, when things were anything but....

Justin was almost to the door when he glanced back, and stopped. With a resigned sigh, he went back to Michael. He walked around the counter and took Michael's wrist.

Michael looked up in surprise. "What?"

Crooking his head to the side, Justin stuck out his tongue before pulling Michael from behind the counter. He pushed him into the bathroom and turned him to face the mirror. When Michael started fidgeting to leave, Justin moved behind him and lifted the man's chin until their eyes met in the glass. "Be still. I'm channeling my inner-Emmett."

When Michael started to speak, Justin shushed him. "Never disturb an artist at work." He looked over Michael's shoulder at his image for a minute and then he brought his hands up to Michael's face. Cupping the sides of Michael's jaws, he covered all the stubble - leaving just the dark shadow around Michael's mouth and chin visible. When Michael raised his eyebrows in question, Justin imitated the gesture before breaking into a laugh. "It's a look, yeah? Bringing out the devil inside..." He scratched over the rough hair on Michael's face, "Rough and scratchy. Just get rid of this bit on the sides, and you'd have an interesting contrast."

Michael shook free from Justin's hands, "I just haven't bothered lately." He looked down, feeling a bit too cornered in the small space. That is until Justin reached around and turned on the water. Distracted by curiosity, Michael looked back up into the mirror.

"Looks like there's something else you didn't bother with today." Wetting his fingers, Justin pushed them into Michael's hair. When Michael tried to step aside, Justin pushed against Michael's back with his own hips - holding him only slightly trapped between Justin and the sink. Digging in with both hands, Justin made quick work at organizing the hair into disarray. Spiky, mussed - but in styled chaos. "There. That works."

When Michael tried to reach up and flatten it down, Justin encircled Michael's waist - trapping the man's arms with his own. "Oh no you don't. Give it a chance." He leaned in, resting his chin on Michael's shoulder.

Michael looking at himself, trying to take in the whole effect rather than stare at just his hair. A memory flashed through his mind, the last time he had been contemplating changing his hair. And how Brian and his mom had reacted to the news. Privately he did have to admit that he had the tendency to subvert his worries by a change in appearance. Looking at his image now, he gave a small smile as he considered the irony of having Brian's "Sunshine" do it for him. "Maybe I should grow it out a bit."

"All the better to turn a few heads. When Ben gets back, he won't even know you." Justin gave him a brief squeeze, hugging the man he held trapped before starting to pull back. He didn't notice Michael's fallen expression, failing to catch the pain in his business partner's eyes before Michael blinked back into his mask of normalcy.

What Justin did see as he drew back was a small hole in Michael's ear. Touching the lobe as he spoke, "I didn't know you had a pierced ear. When'd you get this?"

Giving in to natural reflex, Michael raised his hand and covered Justin's fingers with his own at his ear as their eyes met in the glass again. His expression fond, as if looking back on a memory he cherished, Michael answered. "High school. Junior year. I lost a bet with Brian, I think. I don't remember what the terms were. I just remember Brian coming at me with ice and a needle, telling me to suck it up like a man. I started to laugh at his bad joke and didn't dodge fast enough so he caught me."

At Justin's surprised expression, Michael lightly made to excuse the picture he'd presented - even though it was the truth. "I lost, and that meant we had to do what Brian wanted. Which was for both of us to pierce the other's ear. He did mine first. Course I didn't make it easy for him. Kept teasing him to take out his desire to practice body mutilation on somebody else."

Justin had to smile. Considering Brian's initial reaction to the news of Justin's nipple ring, this was an interesting piece of history to hear. "You let him catch you on purpose, didn't you?"

Lost for the moment on the high of remembered youth, and its joy - Michael didn't think about his current pain. He smiled and admitted, "Almost always. But making him work for it always made it all the more interesting." Both men didn't miss the import of what that meant. Nor did they misunderstand the implications of how the words covered so many different aspects of Brian's relationship with them both.

Michael turned to face Justin, the two still standing close in the small room. "He pierced mine and put the stud in afterwards. Hurt like all hell too cause he twisted it while putting the back on." His smile slowly eased, then faded back as he told the rest. "When it was his turn, I couldn't do it. Refused to try. Which pissed him off. We had a fight, and he left." He looked at Justin, knowing by the young man's face that he'd have to finish the story. "I didn't want to mess up. Didn't want to hurt him. He called me a coward for not trying, and I let him stomp off without an apology." Reaching up to touch the hole, he thought about how he still put the stud in on occasion - just to keep it from closing up. Michael looked down at the floor, speaking now almost to himself. "Having an earring then, it was supposed to be sexy. Make you stand out, that kind of thing. But Brian never needed anything extra. His look, his style. Always. He was just...."

Justin's voice broke through Michael's words, speaking what they both were thinking. "Perfect."

Head snapping up, Michael met Justin's eyes. He saw understanding there. And between them both a shared moment of familiarity. He started to speak, only to have the loud ringing of the bell over the store's front door break through whatever it was he was going to say. Voice a whisper, like something important but secret was ending, Michael said, "Customer."

Pressing passed Michael, bodies brushing as Justin moved to leave. "Don't stand us up, Mikey." He smiled as Michael gave him a push from behind, both men leaving the bathroom one after the other.

"I'll be there. Trust me, I wouldn't want you tracking me down to channel any more of your inner-Emmett. I might end up in heels and a wig again." He had to chuckle as he thought back on his Pride adventure in drag.

A couple of teens stood browsing through the comic displays, so Justin leaned in and whispered so as not to be heard. "Kinky. Very kinky." He left laughing as Michael once again stuck out his tongue at Justin's departing back.

* * * * * * *

Babylon - Midnight

"Look, he's not here. He ditched us at Woody's, and he's playing us for idiots the longer we stay waiting. I'm going home."

Michael turned to leave, feeling body weary and soul tired. The loud music pounded in his ears and it only served to heighten his rising sense of anger. He knew it was irrational. And he just didn't care. No more Ben, left behind. No Brian, left feeling the fool.

Justin made a grab for Michael's arm, pulling him back so he could speak loud enough to be heard over the den of the music. "Michael, wait. He called and said he'd show. It's not his fault he had to entertain some new client with a night on the town." He leaned in and spoke into Michael's ear. "Just a little while longer, okay?"

Closing his eyes for a minute, Michael tried to focus on not feeling so overwhelmed by the rush that was Babylon. Bodies all around, bumping into him and pushing him closer to Justin. How many beers had he had at Woody's? Michael knew he wasn't drunk; he was just buzzed on a mix of alcohol and emotional exhaustion. With another jostling from the surrounding crowd, he got disoriented for a second and put a hand out to hold onto Justin's shoulder as he opened his eyes. His gaze rising to trace Justin's look from toe to head.

Ever since Justin had moved in with Emmett, after the break up with Ted two months back - the other man's tastes had been making a mark on Justin's appearance. Tonight, it was a skintight tee in translucent white. The material shone under the lights with an iridescent sheen that made it look like Justin was wearing mother of pearl against his pale skin. Add to that a tightly clenched silver belt atop Justin's own black jeans and you had a mix of old and new that worked like a dream at framing Justin's body for best effect. It was a good look. Especially now, when the sweat of his body made the shirt cling to his skin.

Michael shook his head, before agreeing. "Okay, one more hour. But I need some serious distraction." He turned to head to the bar, but stopped as Justin took his hand.

Justin nodded towards the crowd on the dance floor. "Let's dance instead. You won't notice the time, and...." He leaned in to speak in Michael's ear again, feeling the silver stud grazing his lips. Pleased that Michael had put it back in, Justin smiled. "And I think it gives Brian a bit of a charge seeing us all cozy and having fun." Pulling back, his smile turned into a devilish grin as he emphasized his next words. "With OUT him."

Michael snorted out a giggle at the thought. Covering his mouth as he laughed, he felt the soft raspy brush of his remaining stubble against his hand. He'd decided to do as Justin had suggested, and had shaved clean except for the hair around his mouth and chin. Surprisingly, he'd liked the look of it. He'd kept the hair the same too. Telling himself he could look the rogue for at least one night before returning to his old ways later. He just needed to feel different about himself. And stay out of his own head for a night. No more regrets....

With a pull, Michael followed Justin into the hoard.

* * * * * * *

Day and night, light and dark - they moved together. Lost in the feel of the music, soaked in the heat and vibration of the pounding beat. Song after song, they danced together. Pushed and pulled by the sway of the crowd, pressing together to stay together - they danced. They sweated and smiled, eyes open. Eyes closed. Fast moves, and then slow. Body against body, they moved to the hypnotic trance music that pulsed through the room and their heads.

Michael's head was back, eyes closed as he and Justin swayed and arched to the music. The time for awkwardness at their close proximity long since passed, they moved. Hips together, arms around a waist - hands on shoulders. Justin rocked his head from side to side, watching Michael through half opened eyes.

Watching as Michael licked his lips and murmured to the music. Watching as the lights flashed overhead and cast raze over Michael's dark wild hair and pale skin. Watching as the dark burgundy of Michael's sleeveless shirt stretched over his tight chest - revealing a glimpse of hard abs as it rose with the movements of Michael's arms.

Not caring about his own intent, Justin reached between them and ran his fingers under the shirt - scratching his dull nails in a tease from Michael's navel to the top of his jeans. The feel of him, damp and warm - soft over hard. Nice.....

Michael opened his eyes as he lifted his head, catching the look of ... something that passed through Justin's eyes. And it made him * feel * the sensations that surrounded him all the more. The way their thighs brushed and pressed together, legs slipping between legs as they moved. The way it felt - fingers on his skin. The heat of them. And the way Justin was watching his own hand, his fingers still playing above the waist of Michael's jeans. Leaning in, no thought as to what for - Michael moved forward.

Only to be stopped by strong arms that encircled him from behind. One over his shoulder and the other at his hip. Pulling him the couple inches needed to bring him against the lean frame of the tall man at his back.

Brian....

Days without seeing him. Speaking to him. Wading through the pain alone, without his best friend.

Michael sagged back into the bracing comfort of Brian's body. He sucked in a breath as Brian began to move against him, as both Michael and Justin continued to dance together. Feeling the hot gust of air as Brian turned to speak into his ear, Michael bit his lip to hold in his moan as Brian rasped out, "Mikey. Mikey. Mikey." Hand lifted to scratch through the dark tangle of Michael's hair, Brian teased. "Wild man." Then the fingers traveled down the line of Michael's face to brush over his stubble. Brian swayed closer, plastered to Michael's back as he bent his head and nuzzled at his friend's throat.

Justin's eyes never strayed. He watched Michael's eyes drifting closed, saw the effect his lover's touch had on Michael in a way he'd not been privileged to in the past. He knew what it felt like to have those lips on his skin, to feel the brush of Brian's hair against his neck - to know the strength of being in Brian's arms. Many others did too.... But here was something more. It was intimacy that he had only been a party too, and not seen shown so clearly shared as it was with this other man. Here in front of him - as Michael let his head fall back, as Brian's soft lips traveled up in a glide of sensation from neck to ear and as Brian tightened his hold on Michael when he felt the hard metal once more in place at Michael's ear.... The smile on Brian's face and the sound of his affection as he laughed. It was amazing to watch.

With a playful bite at Michael's ear, Brian lifted his eyes to Justin. Never losing the rhythm - never letting his arms fall from Michael's body, Brian stared into the blonde's eyes. Letting the gaze follow down Justin's chest - resting on the hard nibs visible through the clinging shirt, and then down to where Justin's hand was pressed flat over Michael's stomach. Watching still as Justin dared to draw the hand up, sliding it inch by inch up Michael's chest - drawing the shirt up with it.

Arching his brow at the move, Brian looked at Michael - taking in the man's expression. Taking in Michael's closed eyes, and parted lips. Seeing the way he smiled and leaned in when Justin's hand reached the center of his chest. And feeling the way Michael was unconsciously pressing back into Brian's body - his ass tight against Brian's groin.

Justin knew the light emanating from Brian's eyes. It was a question and an answer. And it was a why...

Because he wanted to. That was the message in Justin's eyes. No reason other than the want that Brian had cultivated in him. Had taught him to indulge at will.

With a quick grab, Brian caught Justin's wandering hand - holding it in a tight grip around the wrist as it rested on Michael's skin. Michael continued to move, lost in the music and the surrounding warmth - having been at a loss for both. He felt enclosed. Not lost.

But missing the battle of wills being raged from either side....

Brian flipped Justin's hand away and spun Michael to face him. Hands on Michael's hips as Brian swayed them back into the music's beat. Michael laughed, raising his arms up around Brian's neck and closed his eyes again. He felt dizzy and euphoric, and he was enjoying it. Then he sensed a change.

Brian pulled him in, holding Michael between his spread legs as he slid his fingers around to mold the curves of Michael's behind. Just as Justin moved in to rejoin the three way dance - pressing against Michael's back. Opening his eyes, Michael looked at Brian. Locked and captured by the heat held in his hazel depths. He watched as Brian smiled, as he swayed side to side and then as he leaned in to touch his forehead to Michael's own. Michael dropped his eyes, field of vision leveled to the view of Brian's mouth. Looking - wanting not to see anything else.

And then he felt Justin moving, arching and circling into him - against his ass. And into the back of Brian's hands. The action worked to tease them both, and Michael moved back into it - watching Brian's mouth as he did. Seeing Brian biting his own lip, even as Michael felt Brian's fingers digging into his bottom. He gave a breathless laugh, enjoying the way Brian had reacted and the wickedness of being in the middle.

Little did Michael understand that he was more the cause than the visitor to Justin and Brian's interplay.

Justin jerked his eyes back up from where he was teasing both men, when with a sudden move Brian grabbed his belt. Eyes locked as Brian stared at him over Michael's head, Justin grinned. He loved seeing Brian like this - caught between the ease he felt with Michael and the desire that Justin saw on his face for them both at the same time. Justin didn't know how far they would go before common sense and Michael's commitment to Ben brought things to a halt. He was just enjoying the ride.

Bringing the dance to an end with no warning - an arm over Michael's shoulder and a hand at Justin's waist, Brian pulled them both in the direction of the Babylon bathroom. Both men laughed as they followed, missing the look on Brian's face. The mask of supposed indifference flashed as he tried to control himself and the situation. The attempted pacification of his own nature which wavered on the thin line that had always existed in regards to Michael and this type of play, was failing the longer they stayed out on the floor.

Pushing past the line that was waiting on the next stall, Brian walked straight in and commandeered it. He entered and pulled Justin and Michael in after him, before closing the door to the loud protests at their backs. The space was small causing the three men to stand close together. Brian leaned against one wall and took a breath, closing his eyes for a second before looking at the two men with him.

They stood side by side in the dark light of the room, the pounding beat of the music muffled from the dance floor outside. Michael next to Justin, Brian across from them by the space of a foot. Eyes shining black in the darkened booth, Michael looked confused but expectant. Letting himself be led, by whatever Brian would say. Would do....

Justin stood next to Michael, leaning in against him so they could all fit in the stall. There wasn't any room for much movement regardless, but he wanted to watch how being near Michael would make Brian react. He looked at Brian, waiting to see what would happen next.

Brian stepped in, cornering them in the V of the joined walls of the stall. He pushed his hand into the tight pocket of his jeans, taking out a vial. Watching as Justin smiled and Michael's eyes widened. Brian lifted it up to Justin, threading his fingers into the gold shag that framed Justin's neck. Leaning into him as Justin sniffed and blinked rapidly as it hit. Laughing as he buried his head into Brian's chest for a moment before leaning back up against the wall.

And then Brian turned, angling his body until it crowded Michael between him and Justin. His eyes focused with sharp intent as he pushed a hand behind Michael's head and threaded his fingers in the dark fire of Michael's hair. Holding the man's head still with his grip, holding his eyes fast with a look that spoke to doing as he would. It was an offer, a choice.... One that Michael had refused and accepted through out their years. One he would accept again that night.

Michael took Brian's free hand, cupping the back of it as it was guided to his face. Vial positioned, eyes closed. One long pull, a breath inhaled and Michael's world shivered - shuddered, and brightened despite his veiled sight. He gasped, pressing his head back into the pull and tangle of Brian's hand. Words softly voiced.... "Easy, easy. It's strong." Brian's words. Michael laughed, covering his mouth with his hand as though he wasn't supposed to make a sound. All he could hear was the beating of his heart - the sound of Brian's breathing. And Justin's, too... Deep breaths he echoed. And then slowly he opened his eyes.

And swayed, forward. To the side. Feeling the moist heat escaping Brian's mouth, lips open as he exhaled - the breath touching Michael's face. So close. So.... Michael closed his eyes again, letting his hand drop. His lips tingled. Opened. A thought in his mind.... Was it possible to taste that breath? To feed on the warm pull of it, following on the inhale until he reached the source.

Now a breath gusting over his cheek, following in a line from ear to chin. Two sources of warmth.... Sensation firing through his mind, skin so heightened to the touch of the insubstantial that he longed to follow. Michael dipped his tongue into the next stream of breath, licking at the air - his lips never close enough to find those that would answer his need. He wasn't thinking, wasn't questioning. He didn't want to remember why - what - where - who.

All he wanted was to taste the air, and know what it felt like on his tongue.

Held still by the fingers at his neck, Michael moaned. Caught while wanted to fly free. He pulled forward, blind to the angle of his search. Only wanting ... Wanting....

And then he knew. Taste, touch.... Lips, liquid heat that opened in answer to his kiss. Eyes still shut; Michael took and was taken from as they moved. Teased. Harsh, sweet. Addictive, the touch as it drew him further in. Tongue over tongue, lips full and curved as they tormented him. Opening to him, then forcing his to part. The way breached as Michael gasped and let go. The rush of it.... The feel of HIM. It was as quick a high as the magic mix had been to his blood. And Michael moaned.... Sounding his pleasure in echo, in chorus to the pleasure that escaped the lips against his own.

The matching sound.... That wasn't Brian.

Opening his eyes, as the kiss held and moved further - Michael gasped into the other man's mouth. Into Justin's own....

"Justin." Words spoken as Michael stopped in surprise. The name tickling over them both as their lips parted, separate - a breath apart.

And in his ear, so close.... "Mikey." Brian - his voice low, rough - aroused.

Michael looked into Justin's eyes, seeing how his gaze fell back to Michael's mouth. And he blinked as Justin licked his bottom lip - rolling the soft used surface under his teeth with a sigh. Body tightening down, Michael almost moaned again at the effect it had on him. He turned his eyes to Brian. Needing to see his expression.

Filling the space between them as he leaned in, Brian covered Michael's body with his own as he turned to look at Justin. Taking in the ragged breaths escaping a mouth made wet by the kiss he'd witnessed. Eyes locked on those lips, Brian placed a hand behind Justin's head . . . mirroring his other at Michael's neck. He pulled Justin's face up with a determined draw on his hair and licked the taste of Michael from his lips. Kissing Justin, even as he traced the curve of Michael's ear with his teasing fingers.

Justin opened his eyes as he played into the brush and glide of Brian's mouth. Brian's eyes were hooded but open as Justin darted a look at Michael. Watching as he watched them. Then back to Brian as the man nipped sharply at Justin's lip, a call back to him. A warning to stop?

It wasn't a warning that Justin felt like heeding. He'd crossed the line, and tasted just some of the fire that was in Michael. And it felt daring, thrilling.... Something he wanted more of. And seeing the heat of Brian's eyes, feeling the control tightly held - Justin wanted to break through the veil. To see Brian give in and be as blunt in his desire for Michael as he was with the truth he espoused like a razor's edge. Playing David to Brian's Goliath. Dangerous. But only to know, to show - that in Brian losing, they would all know reward. In each other....

The two together - like always, but now so very close - the heat of their skin, the line of their bodies touching him. Michael opened his mouth, panting lightly without knowing. But even as he watched, as he felt them against him - he made himself look away. Eyes on Brian's chest. His consciousness clearing with a feeling of being odd-man-out. Cornered by them, he avoided the view - waiting to be left behind. Again....

Until he was yanked back into play.... Justin's arm snaking behind Michael's head, overriding Brian's hand - to pull Michael over. Michael started to speak, to say something . . . anything, but the words never sounded. Lost beneath another kiss. Justin diving in, taking the lead as Michael answered to the touch.... To the talent that Brian had cultivated.

Fingers cupping his jaw, Michael moaned as he was pulled away - and was turned to meet another. To be crushed into the fierce possession of Brian's kiss. His friend, this man.... Feasting on him as they pressed him flat to the stall door. Michael shivered, groin hard and heart like a drum. He buried his hands in the fabric of Brian's shirt, clinging to him as they kissed. Knowing what he'd been missing, finding the feel of home as Brian traced his way into Michael's mouth.

Lips on his ear, tongue against his neck. Two mouths driving him incoherent, until....

Until Michael felt Brian grab his hand, pulling it down. The line, the weight of Brian's hard cock under denim surrounded by his hand. It snapped at something in Michael's brain. Clarity chorused by the feel of Justin's hand under his shirt and the other on his ass.

He pulled away, panting out harshly to fill his lungs with air. When he made to move, to escape - Brian grabbed him, cradling Michael's face in his hands. Eyes intense and ... wanting. Michael blinked and tried to think through the fog that was his mind held by the intemperate fire of Brian's eyes. Only he wasn't given the time as Brian pressed in, kissing him again. Tasting Michael as they met, and mingled.

Held to Brian's body, another's fingers played down Michael's spine. A body covered him from behind - sliding against him as Brian continued to devour. Justin at his back.... Words whispered in his ear, husky evidence of Justin's mutual desire. "Feel him. Feel us, Michael. Feel...."

It was a jolt - to hear the words. Hear them voiced.... To feel how they made his stomach clench in anticipation not of the what-if, but of the what-could-be. Michael pulled away from Brian's kiss, ducking his head to rest on Brian's chest as he took a deep breath and fought to make sense of what he was feeling. How much he was feeling. And how much more was on offer....

Brian closed his eyes, echoing the breath his friend had needed. Justin reached up and brushed his thumb over Brian's lips, meeting the man's eyes as they opened. Nodding towards Michael's bent head, Justin softly kneaded the tense muscles at the back of Michael's neck as he mouthed 'Ben' to Brian.

A look of anger flashed over Brian's face, quickly hidden as he lifted Michael's head with a hand under his chin. Looking at him, at the frowning line of Michael's brow and the way his eyes kept moving from Brian's eyes to his lips and back again - Brian leaned in as if to kiss him. Then stopped and spoke, his words a hot ghost that held the edge of his dissatisfaction at what he assumed was Michael's decision to stop. "Say it. Can't. Won't. Tell me no." When Michael tried to step back, Brian grabbed his shoulders so he couldn't step away. "Say his name, Mikey. Say it and tell me no."

That quick, that sharp - the pain hit, clearing Michael's mind as he flinched. "Ben..." He swallowed, trying to get the words out as Brian's grip tightened - fingers digging into his skin. Pushing at Brian's chest, Michael jerked away. He turned to face the door, blindly reaching for the latch only to find that Justin was blocking his attempt. And again, Brian pushed against him - crowding Michael until he was trapped against the hard surface with Brian at his back.

A hiss, Brian's voice in anger. "You're not leaving until you say it, Michael. Tell me...."

Justin looked at Michael as the man shook his head back and forth against the door - as he clenched his hands into fists. Practically holding his breath for what would happen next, Justin stood witness to the two men who were locked so close. And watched as Michael pushed against the door, shoving to free himself from Brian.

Trapped, closed in...and fighting to say the words but knowing that when he did they would hurt like a blow. Because they were true. They were real.... Michael pushed and twisted until he could turn around. Brian stepped back as Michael crossed his arms around his body, hugging himself as he answered. "He... Ben. He left. It's over." Eyes down, head too. Looking anywhere but at Brian and the expected amusement he'd see in his friend's eyes. Or worse, ridicule.

A beat, and nothing. Nothing said, no one moved. And the longer Michael stood without reply, the more he began to shake. His eyes burned, wet. Stinging as he blinked against the unwanted tears, holding them back with a will he couldn't explain. His mind raged with the thought that it was too late and past time for tears, but his body did not know it.

Mouth opened, stunned by the news - Justin almost moved forward to try and comfort. He stopped with a look at Brian's face. Pain, without pity. Empathy and remorse. Brian's face. Justin watched as Brian pulled Michael back to himself. As he wrapped him in his arms and murmured soft shushes, holding on as Michael attempted to resist the hold.

Brian's voice broke through, "Mikey. Mikey." He kissed Michael's forehead, smoothing a hand down the side of his face to cup his cheek. Lips pressed softly to Michael's, and then Brian whispered, "Come home." The 'with me' more than obvious.

Michael clutched at Brian's shirt, balling the material blindly as he was held. The position, the stance.... The last time they'd stood like this, the last time he'd needed Brian like this... It had been outside Ben's hospital room when Michael had thought death would take the man from him, remove him from Michael's life. And all Michael's will and strength hadn't been enough to stop it. Helpless and weak, he'd found the reserves needed to brave the storm. Borrowing them from the man who had enfolded him in strength and love. But now.... The man Michael loved had removed himself, in a manner as abrupt as the disease could have that threatened him each day. And again it was Brian helping him to be strong.

Nodding his head, Michael reached up and took Brian's head in his hands. A mirror to the past.... Kissing him in thanks. Staying in the kiss as Brian's lips parted - finding the fix he desired. The want having never left in the light of revelation. He stood back once they both broke, gasping for air. Michael's dark eyes almost black in the dim shadows of the small space, looking into Brian's own as he said, "Yes."

An affirmation to all that his assent implied....

Justin edged away from the pair, moving slowly to stand at their backs. Turning his eyes to stare at the wall, he waited. Waited for them to leave, waited for them to go without him. His turn to be odd man out. He closed his eyes, frowning as he reasoned that it was fine. But disappointed, too. It, they.... He'd wanted to see it through, to be a part of them. But now....

Michael's look moved from Brian to Justin and back. Could he think around this, comprehend his own decision - he couldn't. But he'd be damned if it seemed to matter to him now. What did he want - more. What would it mean - a life without regret. Let the consequences fall, he didn't care.

Touch and touched - eager with a kiss remembered from them both, to have it all. He would know. He would feel if only for a night.

Justin jerked a little with the loud slap of the latch being thrown, still not looking over. Not wanting to see them leave. Missing the moment that Michael turned back his way, missing the look of questioning that Brian sent to Michael as the man reached for Justin's hand. Justin felt the touch, surprised as he turned to see Michael there. A tug as Michael pulled Justin to him and Brian, turning to walk out of the stall with them both behind him.

They went to the exit, waiting at the coat check before leaving. Brian leaned in and spoke in Michael's ear. After a moment, Michael nodded as Brian stepped over to Justin. Again, leaning to speak. "I'm taking the 'vette. Catch a cab with Michael to the loft." When Justin started to speak, to ask if he needed to just leave them both to it - Brian kissed him briefly. "Always finish what you start." The meaning clear - his teasing Brian, his touching Michael - the line crossed. Standing up to look at Justin's face, he added with a soft expression, "Make sure he doesn't bolt, okay?"

Justin threaded a finger through one of Brian's belt loops, stopping him from leaving. Michael was handing in his check slip, turned from them. Justin glanced at him then back to Brian. "It's different now, isn't it? He's in pain." The youth had wanted to play; now he wanted it still - but was concerned. He didn't want to add to Michael's pain by playing games.

Brian's jaw clenched, his face serious as he looked back in Michael's direction. Eyes not leaving his friend, Brian spoke, "He's decided." Turning back to see Justin, he added, "It's time." With that, Brian left out the door.

* * * * * * *

Pale fingers spread over black leather. Michael's hand flat on the seat between he and Justin. The cab moved through the city, through the night pitched in black with only the occasional streetlamp casting light through the windows and into the back seat. Justin's view of Michael's hand, of his profile - made possible only with the occasional flash of illumination, like a spotlight that teased his eyes with vistas one fleeting beam at a time.

They were seated quietly, no words having passed since they left the club. Michael was looking out his window deep in thought. If he knew that Justin was staring his way, he didn't let it show. Justin felt compelled to watch. He was trying to read Michael's mood. But couldn't with Michael's face turned away. So instead, Justin let his eyes fall to the seat and Michael's hand that rested so close to his own.

Three inches.... Maybe four. That's all that separated them from touching. The contact was something that Justin was anticipating. One move and his hand could cover Michael's.

Trying to decide if he should, Justin blinked as a memory flashed - a moment of complete recollection that startled him. Michael's hands pushing men away from him as Justin huddled in a corner, freeing him from the fear as he called Justin's name and told him it was Michael. It was the memory of how Michael had reached out to him after the bashing, the night Justin had first entered Woody's in search of Brian. Comforting and protective of Justin's nervousness. Indignant of Brian's distance and silence. Guardian.

Frowning, Justin glanced back up at the man. He'd lost that moment, lost it to seeing Brian standing there across the room. It wasn't the first time Michael had tried to help. The night Justin had met Deb being the first, but as always they seemed to get their backs up against each other. Over Brian.... And often it clouded their uneasy friendship and their partnership with anger and even at times resentment.

The irony being that Michael was often the only ear Justin could turn to in order to talk about Brian. No one else understood the way Michael did. All those years - others thought that Michael's connection to Brian was a weakness. Justin knew it now to be anything but. To keep loving Brian for that long, despite the man's nature....

Michael had proved one of the strongest men Justin knew.

A jolt, the cab running over a pothole not to be avoided in the dark. The jarring motion caused Justin to gasp as he was pulled back from his thoughts. Once settled, he saw Michael had not turned from the window. Justin took a deep breath, fighting his own reaction to the shock. He wasn't as easily spooked as he'd been after leaving the hospital, but there were moments such as now when he needed to focus to skirt the edge of panic. It has been a long time since the last one.

Looking down, he focused outward - projecting his attention away from his body's reaction.

Their hands. Touching.... By the barest of margins, Justin's little finger now rested against Michael's own. The jolt having been the cause of their contact.

Watching - almost from outside himself, Justin saw his finger move. Saw himself caressing Michael's skin with small brushing circles, his fingertip tracing the length of Michael's hand. Eyes locked on the touch, Justin bit his lip and sighed as Michael flexed his fingers - widening the width of space between his own fingers, allowing Justin's hand to slowly - so very very slowly, cover his. Circling, rubbing the tips of his finger over Michael's skin, Justin didn't notice his own breathlessness. He didn't notice Michael's either. All were their hands, and the moment when Justin felt Michael turn and threaded their fingers palm to palm. Hands held.....

The not so gentle braking of the cab at their destination broke through the haze of the moment, and Justin raised his eyes to find that Michael was looking at him - watching him with heated eyes and an open mouth. The effect mutual and erotic. A surprise....

With reluctance, they parted and left the cab. Quick glances one to the other, as they stood wordless. For what was there to say? And then one foot forward and then the next, they walked to the entrance of Brian's building.

* * * * * * *

They stood apart in the elevator, but both were very aware of the other. Eyes forward as the lift pushed them up to their appointed destination. When it stopped, Justin raised the gate. The loft door was open, slid to the side in welcome. The invitation plain....

As plain as Brian's knowledge that they would come. No questioning.

Michael walked inside, taking his coat off as he looked around for Brian. Ever aware of Justin standing close by, he put his coat down on the kitchen island - sticking to the practical task to keep from jumping at his scattered nerves. Unconsciously rubbing his fingers over his palm, skin still tingling from Justin's touch - Michael caught sight of Brian in the bedroom. As always he felt a surge of happiness as Brian stepped into view, but this time it was quickly escalated by the circumstance of what they were here to do.

The possibility, more like probability - no make that certainty of what Michael wanted seemed surreal to his own state of mind. Like he was floating above the truth of it, safe from the anxiety he would normally have felt. He didn't want to worry it over, didn't want to think it out. And as he watched Brian through the slats of the bedroom - the man taking off his shirt and throwing it aside before coming out to step down from the platform - Michael knew thinking was the last thing he'd be doing for a long while.

Brian walked to them, barefoot in nothing but his jeans. The button fly already opened at the top - one button loose. He smiled for a moment, coming to a stop directly in front of Michael. Leaning in he put an arm around Michael's shoulder and pressed his forehead to his friend's. Meeting Michael's eyes, he shifted forward still closer - his body against Michael's from foot to chest. He spoke then - words that gusted across Michael's mouth, letting him feel the air move between them. "Thirsty? I am." Not breaking from his position, he said, "Justin...." The tone sounded with an expectation of being understood.

Laughing as he shoved his coat and shoes to one side, Justin answered, "Got it." He caught Brian's grin in response before turning to find the Jack Daniels. Looking back, he watched as Michael put his hands on Brian's hips to balance himself as he kicked off his shoes. The two men's bodies never broke from their stance, chest to chest as Brian ran his hands up into Michael's black hair. He was speaking low, into Michael's ear. Words that Justin could only make out here and there. Ben - doesn't know - wrong - you're fantastic - and Mikey. The last murmured again and again as Michael's fingers clutched at the denim of Brian's jeans - grasping the waistband as he closed his eyes and listened. And leaned in.... Closer still.

Justin was used to seeing Brian touching other men, to seeing the effect of Brian's magnetism on others as the sexual tension filled a room. But watching them now, seeing Brian and Michael edging nearer to another kiss - Justin's gut clenched. Not with worry, not with anger. Instead, it was with the impact of witnessing what he must look like each time Brian touched him in the same way - Michael's face a mirror to his own. Drowning surrender....

Want, need and love.

The connection grounded Justin, helped him to feel the desire that sharing in this gave. To feel it without a second guess. He wanted to touch the power that passed between them. He wanted to know more of Michael's heat. He wanted to watch as Brian crossed the line and took what he'd restrained himself from all these years. To be a part of that made him shiver - his nerves like live wires ready to spark given any touch.

He grabbed the whiskey and took a large swallow the moment the two kissed. Feeling the burn down his throat, even as he knew both men felt another - lips to lips.

Slow and sweet, they met. Brian's mouth gliding against Michael's - the kiss infinite in the space of a moment. A moment that betrayed its endlessness by the alteration of their design - Michael's lips opening for Brian to taste. To feel inside, deepening as their hunger built. Each into the other, their tongues messengers of havoc - control gone as the kiss grew.

Grew until neither man could find breath....

Michael pulled back, gasping as he stood against Brian - the other man's hands buried in his hair so he couldn't step away. Not that he would have. Wrapping his hands around Brian's waist, Michael pressed his fevered face against the curve of Brian's throat. His senses wading through the volatile pulsing of his blood.

Standing still, the bottle grasped absently in his hand - Justin played vicarious voyeur. He worried his bottom lip without thought, as if a taste of either or both men could be found there. Lifting his eyes, Justin caught Brian looking at him from over Michael's bowed head. A moment - an expression of not only want, but need. And then Brian looked away - the move a brief hesitation. Surprising for a man who lacked hesitancy.

Brought back to the 'now' of the scene, Justin returned to his own decision. The decision to be a part of it. And of them. So they could feel together. He walked up to them, standing at Michael's back as he took a last burning swallow. Justin handed the bottle to Brian, and pressed against Michael as the brunette lifted his head.

They both watched Brian drink down a long pull, and then took their turns as the bottle was passed around the tight circle. Justin laughed softly as Michael grimaced at the first swallow, only to take another immediately after as if chasing his own discomfort with another taste. Brian grinned, grabbing the bottle back from Justin on the next go round and tipping it to his lips. His eyes traveled from Justin to Michael as he drank, until he stopped and sat the bottle on the floor away from them. Lifting back up, he pressed his mouth over Michael's - kissing him as the last of the whiskey passed from his lips into Michael's mouth.

Justin rested his chin on Michael's shoulder, enjoying being close and able to watch both men's lips at play. They all had such gorgeous mouths, after all.... He rubbed his cheek against Brian's, calling attention to wanting a kiss himself. And was rewarded as Brian took his mouth, kissing him even as he held Michael between himself and Justin.

Michael stood, trapped and encircled - watching the two men kiss. The impression of Brian's kiss was still tingling on his mouth. He took a deep breath. The warmth of Brian and Justin's bodies blanketed him, housing him as they played. Michael felt their desire, the teasing sensation flaring through him as he closed his eyes. Closing off a sense as he focused on the feel of them both. As he felt the hard flesh pressing into his stomach and against his behind.... His own flesh tight, made heavy with the ache.

Hands on his skin. Not Brian's, whose hands were at Michael's hips. Justin's then.... Fingers once more on his stomach as they pushed up his shirt, palms flat over his skin on the upper glide. Michael murmured as his nipples hardened, arching unconsciously into the feel of Justin's touch as the finger reached his chest. The motion caused his shirt to bunch under his arms, and left his stomach naked against Brian's body. The friction of their skin together mixed with Justin's teasing pulls and pinches at his nipples made Michael moan.

Justin smiled as Brian ended the kiss at the sound. He saw the hunger in Brian's eyes as the man watched Justin touching Michael's skin. Michael's eyes stayed closed, blind to Brian's voyeurism. But Justin watched and made to increase the level of play. Quickly, he jerked up on Michael's burgundy t-shirt until he had it in his hands and then he threw it aside. He pulled Michael back against him, one arm crossing the older man's bare chest as his other pressed flat on Michael's hard abs and slid down, down to cover the bulge evident at Michael's groin.

Eyes snapping open, Michael's whole field of vision was Brian's eyes. Hazel fire watching him, touching him with a heat almost an equal to Justin's hands on his skin. Michael couldn't reason out the why of it, he just knew that he liked Brian seeing him - them as this played out.

He'd had enough of reason.

With purpose, Michael leaned back against Justin and anchored his hands on the back of Justin's thighs. The stance left him open to whatever Justin would do, and to whatever Brian wanted to see.

Justin's lips on his neck, tongue tracing a warm line from his shoulder to his ear - and Michael moaned as teeth teased at his skin with playful bites as Justin made the return trip back to the base of his neck. Half-hooded and almost black, Michael met Brian's gaze with his own. Watching as Brian stood close by, a step back as Justin slowly pulled Michael's pants open. Staring still as he felt the first warm determined touch of Justin's hand on his cock, as his jeans were shoved down to mid-thigh until Michael was exposed to the room.

Michael panted softly as Justin's hand stroked his hard flesh, the other at his nipples. The muscles of Michael's stomach flexing as his hips moved into the rhythm, thrusting into Justin's tight grip. He could feel Justin fully clothed behind him, and it made him all the more award of the lewd display of himself naked and being jacked off as his pants circled his thighs. The thought, the view of it and the reaction to it all mirrored in Brian's eyes. Michael's face blazed, the flush carrying down his pale skin. But again, he didn't care. It made him feel desired, desirable.

Hell, it made him hot as all hell.

Brian stood so still, tracking every touch. Tracking Michael's eyes and Justin's too. It was all he could do just to watch, and not join in. A fight with himself he wasn't going to win....

Justin's own breath hitched as Michael's ass circled back against his denim covered cock. He pulled away, his hands leaving the other man's hard-on despite Michael's small groan. Smiling, Justin kissed the back of Michael's neck. He traced the line of Michael's shoulders with his tongue, left to right. And then he slowly, softly drew the liquid touch down, down, down the length of Michael's spine from his neck to the beginning crease of his ass.

He finished kneeling behind the brunette with his cheek pressed against Michael's ass, feeling the shiver that traveled through Michael's body from the sensations he'd caused. Palming the firm flesh of Michael's behind, Justin nuzzled against the curves. High and tight, beautiful. He trailed his lips over Michael's skin as his fingers dipped into the line that divided. He laughed with a husky chuckle as Michael sucked in a breath. Then Justin rewarded the anticipatory sound with its reward. Hands clutching, pulling apart the cheeks - Justin moved in to taste the man above him.

Mouth opened, eyes fighting to stay the same - Michael gasped and panted as he suffered the pleasure in front of Brian's eyes. So long.... Feeling the full brunt of it, wet and hot. Insistent as Justin pushed ever in, then out. Michael clutched his hands into fists, sweat coating his skin. His face was a vision of wanting more. Wanting....

Brian.

Brian who stood so close and yet wasn't touching him. Michael wanted him too.... Was practically mindless with the desire to have Brian touch him in chorus to the sensations Justin was giving to him. Wetting his lips, Michael asked, "Please...."

And Brian who stepped back to Michael, pressing against his body as he claimed the asking lips with his own. He swallowed Michael's pleased murmur as they kissed. Michael first clutched Brian's waist, then ran his hands up the man's back to feel as much of his friend's skin as he could. Humming against Brian's mouth as he did the same, Michael arched against Brian's denim clad groin and reveled in having Brian's hands on his body.

Hands that slid down Michael's back until one rested at the base of his spine and the other threaded through Justin's hair. The feel of which caused Justin to pull back from teasing Michael. Justin looked up to see Brian devouring Michael as the other man clung to each moment. Taking the time to discard his own clothes, Justin then slid his hands down the length of Michael's legs - easing the jeans all the way down until he could draw them off one foot at a time. Leaving Brian in his jeans as the only one wearing a stitch.

Justin grinned, mischievously. Taking Brian's hand, he brought the first two fingers into his mouth and bathed them with his tongue. Sucking them as he would a cock, until they were wet and ready. Justin pulled Brian's hand to Michael's behind, circling the wet fingers down the crease. Skin already slick from Justin's tongue, Brian's fingers slid to the opening with ease. And as Justin watched, one entered inside - penetrating Michael with a solid push.

Crying out, Michael moaned into Brian's mouth and pushed back into the driving force. He opened his eyes as Brian pulled back from the kiss. Brian captured Michael's head with his free hand, finger tangled in the wild dark hair as he held Michael still. Breathing against the man's mouth, hot and moist - Brian pushed the second finger into Michael's body. And watched.... Watched as Michael moved against his hand eagerly until he was breathing out in small sounds that would drive any man crazy.

And while Brian wasn't just any man, it affected him in an extreme way. His cock strained against his jeans, the constriction almost painful as he shifted into the movement of Michael's hips. Pressing against him as the moisture from both their cocks marked the denim, Michael from without and Brian from within. Brian licked along Michael's lips, grinning wickedly as Michael groaned. The wet strokes a mirror to the teasing licks that Justin was tracing over Brian's thrusting wrist and arm from below - marking Brian's with his tongue.

Michael moved, mindless and half crazed. Back onto the fingers, forward against Brian's answering hard-on and up into their kiss. The only thought ha managed was that he wanted to feel Brian, flesh on flesh. Pushing a hand between their bodies, Michael jerked at the remaining buttons. The one pull caused all to release as Michael pushed his hand inside. Hot, hard - slick with pre-cum. Brian's cock....finally.

Brian jerked at the touch, his eyes fluttering as he smiled and leaned his head back. His fingers went still, encased in Michael's body. And he stood letting the sensation of Michael's stroking flood his system until he looked back into his friend's eyes. One word breathed in a rasp, heard by both men - across and below. "Bed...."

Justin stood, as Michael sighed with the removal of Brian's fingers. The youth leaned in against Michael's side, one arm around Michael's waist and looked at Brian expectantly. He laughed as Brian pulled him into a kiss, lingering at the extra hint of Michael in Justin's mouth. The word, "Now," spoken into their kiss by Brian before he turned and left both Michael and Justin standing together.

Rounding on Michael, Justin stood against him - chest-to-chest, groin-to-groin. Both men fit perfectly, the same height and the same build for the most part. He focused on looking at Michael's body, letting his eyes travel all the way down. Only coming back up when he felt the brush of Michael's thumb over his lips. Staring heatedly at each other, Justin opened his lips and took it inside. He enjoyed watching Michael's eyes close, then open to watch as Justin circled the digit with his tongue before sucking on it with a strong pull. As Michael shuddered out a sigh, Justin released him and quickly kissed him fiercely. Enjoying the feel of those lips again. He drew back finally and walked to the bedroom platform, Michael at his back - their hands joined.

They found Brian sprawled, laid out over his bed on his back. He was leaning up on his elbows still wearing the jeans, denim illicitly framing his exposed length. Just as Michael has left them. Brian's skin was lit by an amber warmth, the light shining down on him from above the bed. Black sheets pulled back beneath his body. His legs were open, hanging off the bed like he'd sat at the edge and then leaned all the way back. And his eyes were on the two who walked together to him.

Justin crawled onto the bed, resting on his hip as he kissed Brian's shoulder and nuzzled his neck. Pulling away, he looked to Michael. Watching for what he would do.... Anticipating it as Brian waited for the same. Both men feeling the tension of what could come. What would ....

Michael moved forward, hesitancy smothered by the sensations of having had them both inside his body. Fingers, tongue.... He could still feel both, trace memories that called to his desire for more of the same. And for a taste of it from the other side. Reaching the bed, he slowly knelt and pulled Brian's jeans down the man's long legs. It was an act he'd preformed countless times throughout their history, undressing and putting Brian to bed after a bad night. But in this, the context was decidedly different. The purpose laced with a deliberate need to see, touch and taste. To have....

If he'd meant the first touch of his mouth against Brian's flesh to be teasing, with eyes opened and watching for Brian's response.... If he'd meant to draw out the moment before losing himself in the thrill.... It didn't happen. For with that first touch, taste - Michael zoned on the revelation of the act. His eyes closed, hands gripping the strength of Brian's thighs as he parted his lips. His tongue feasted, tracing the length - circling the head - teasing the tip until Brian gasped and grabbed at Michael's head, fingers clutched in the wild silk of Michael's hair. A demand for more. And then Michael bowed still further, mouth opening as vessel for Brian's cock. Taking him inside, then back, then again inside - again and again. Rhythm fierce, hungry and non-stop until Brian's arms gave and he fell back onto the bed - a panting wreck.

One that would have crashed on through the rising storm, had Michael not pulled back with a moan. Head on Brian's thigh, Michael panted as he tried to regain his breath and recover from the rush. He didn't want it to end yet, the echo of that thought sounding from above as Justin pulled at Michael's chin and kissed the words, "Not yet," against Michael's use-bruised lips.

Brian's voice husked out in a deep sigh, "Fuck."

Michael smiled ironically, nodding as he and Justin kissed again. A beat of lips meeting and being well met, then he whispered, "And now?"

Justin looked over his shoulder at Brian, feeling the weight of the man's eyes watching them both. Looking back at Michael, he murmured into the man's ear. "Make him watch us as you take a little back." Pulling back, he finished on a whisper, "Touch me. Fuck me. And let him see."

Eyes widening, Michael reached out a hand and touched the lips that had said the words. Soft, moist and turned up in a small grin. Pushing his hand into the hair at the back of Justin's neck, Michael held him still. He turned to nuzzle Justin's skin, brushing the neck and collarbone with his stubble as Justin drew in a sharp breath. Michael's free hand touched the smooth skin of Justin's chest, moving down until he took Justin's cock into a firm grip. When the blonde's hips canted into the stroking rhythm, Michael returned to his mouth and another kiss.

Words passing between them - Michael's, "Yeah?" to Justin's, "Michael." Michael made his decision. An answer to the need in Justin's voice. He pushed Justin back, climbing on the bed as they tumbled onto the center of the large mattress. Wrestling about with hands clinging, legs entwined - they tussled with increasing fervor until Michael pressed Justin down and over onto his stomach. Lying over and against him, Michael held Justin in place with the full weight of his body. Only then venturing a look Brian's way....

Sitting back on his folded leg, kneeling at the head of his bed - Brian was watching them. Mouth slightly open, eyes darkening. A devouring expression on his face. He was running his hands over his stomach and thighs, never touching his cock. Teasing himself by denying the ache, by extending it.

Brian's eyes held Michael's - the moment passing between them lasting an age.

Slowly, Michael lowered his gaze to Justin. Blonde hair against black sheets. Pale skin suffused by the glow of the light that surrounded them, golden and slick with sweat. Rising up, Michael moved to touch him. Fingers spanned the width of the younger man's back, coasting down in a deliberate press until Michael took the round curves of Justin's ass into his hands. He licked and bit at Justin's skin, the back of his neck - the length of his spine. Each nip earning him a gasp or groan from the one beneath him. Michael smiled, feeling the firing of his blood with each sound. And the way Justin was writhing beneath his hands in response to Michael circling his fingers down the crease - pressing, pulling and rolling Justin's balls between his spread thighs.

The further down Michael trailed, the more salt coated his tongue as Justin's flushed body glistened with heat. He stopped at the dip of Justin's lower back, biting into the soft skin until Justin cried out and arched into the mark. Panting, Michael rested his head on the high curve of Justin's ass - eyes closing as Justin began softly saying, "Please, Michael."

Blind to everything in that moment but the soft flesh under his cheek and the rapid pace of his heartbeat, Michael breathed out a question. "What do you want?"

His eyes snapped open when Brian's voice sounded in his ear, "Your mouth." Opened to see Brian on his stomach at Michael's side, the man leaning in to be heard. Both their heads were close enough to feel each breath taken, as Brian spoke roughly, "He wants your tongue up his ass." Each word brought him a fraction of an inch closer until he was a hair's breath from Michael's mouth.

Unable to control the urge, Michael dove across even that small divide and took Brian's mouth. He was incensed by the man. Brian's voice - his smell - his very existence in that moment made Michael desperately glad. When he was suitably drunk on Brian's essence, Michael pulled away and smiled at Brian's arched eyebrow. He felt giddy and hot with the incredulousness of their situation. And wicked. He thrilled in feeling wicked. Leaning in, he licked a wide brush across Brian's mouth and then moved to bury his face where Justin wanted it most.

Brian watched as Justin moaned, loud and grateful as Michael rimmed him. The view of them both, Justin's body flat with his ass raised high and Michael kneeling behind with his face pressed against Justin's ass - had Brian fisting the sheets. He took in a deep breath, as his eyes traveled over Michael's body - watching as his tousled hair swept over Justin's skin with every bob of his head. Traveled over the arch of his friend's body, and the line of his ass opened to the air by his spread position - Michael balanced on his knees, hands on Justin's legs as he drove the blonde crazy. The vision of them, the reality of it proved too much for Brian's control.

That and the sound of Justin gasping plea, "Fuck me, ahhh. Please."

Making a grab for the side table, Brian snatched lube and condoms. Throwing them on the bed, he turned to see Michael licking up Justin's back. Justin turned his head, angling to be kissed - and then again he was pressed into the bed as Michael covered Justin's body with his own. Prowling forward, Brian lay down against their sides and pushed his way into their kiss. Justin, Michael - he kissed them both, endlessly until it was all sensation without sight - no one knowing whose lips they felt against theirs.

Finally, Brian leaned his head back and brushed a foil packet over Michael's lips. The feeling of it caused Michael to open his eyes. He looked at Brian, then Justin. Michael was breathing hard, his chest and abdomen moving with the effort to fill his lungs. Rising up, he took the wrapper from Brian's hand - their eyes locked as Michael opened it with his teeth. He dropped his eyes in an effort to focus on his next move. But when he went to put the condom on, Brian grabbed his wrist.

Brian moved around until he was at Michael's back, chest in full contact with Michael's body - cock brushing Michael's ass. Wrapping an arm around Michael's waist, he pulled Michael back until there was no space between them. Brian kissed Michael's neck, stroking his lips up until they stopped over the man's ear. "Stay still...." When Michael obeyed, Brian took the protection from him and reached down with both hands to sheath the length of Michael's cock.

Absorbing the shudder that passed through Michael's body at the touch, Brian hummed a satisfied sound at feeling the weight of Michael's hard-on in his hand. The condom was lubed, enough for Justin who was used to taking a fuck with little to no assistance. Always eager for it, and loving it each time. Still and all....

Brian grabbed the lube, slicking a small amount over Michael's cock. Taking Michael's ear lobe between his teeth for a moment until Michael groaned, Brian released him as he said, "I want to feel you fucking into him. Pushing inside."

"Brian, ahhh. Yes." Michael was biting his lip, hands tight on Justin's waist as he followed Brian's guiding hands and thrusting hips. He couldn't think, his whole world a yes for whatever Brian wanted of him. And then.... He cried out along with Justin as he thrust inside with one insistent push, Brian's hand circling his cock at the entrance to Justin's body - having formed a ring through which Michael entered as he went inside. Buried, inch for inch inside. His sole desire was to move, to take - to find the end of this, even as he didn't want the sensations to stop.

Justin grabbed at his pillow, shaking his head and moaning as Michael came to rest within him. The burn faded into bliss as he body opened to it. Fuck, the way it always made him feel. Taken, full - overcome. "Huhh, yeah."

"Easy, easy." Brian put a hand on Justin's back, the other at Michael's hip. He held them together, still. "Wait."

Michael shivered, fighting to hear through the haze of his brain. "Fuck. Brian, I can't.... I need to."

"Shhh, one more thing and then you can."

Groaning as Justin circled back against him, Michael asked breathlessly, "What?"

Brian reached around Michael and held Justin's hips still, speaking loud enough to be heard by both. "Me."

"oh"... Michael whispered, his body frozen despite how it screamed for movement - for release. He slumped forward, resting on his hands over Justin as Brian reached again for what they needed. Eyes clenched tightly, Michael rolled his forehead from side to side against Justin's back as he felt Brian's fingers press so intimately to his body. Cursing in praise as first one, then... Oh fuck. Then two fingers moved inside. Slick and demanding, a ruthless persistence that had Michael quickly asking for the real thing - "Brian, now. Please...."

Only a moment passed, Brian pulling away as he stroked the rest of the lube over his covered cock. That done, he ran his hands over the slick skin of Michael's back - covering him from neck to thighs before taking hold of his hips. And then with a groan, Brian pushed inside - riding out the involuntary jerk of Michael's body.

Breath gone in an instant, Michael groaned his welcome before panting Brian's name out on a gasp. That first moment, the burn and ache that turned quickly into pleasure. The pain a pleasure, and the pleasure so good as to almost be pain. He pushed back into it, feeling drunk on the sensations of withdrawal and possession. Justin below and Brian behind. Both men's voices rapidly sounding louder as the motion took hold, as Michael arched and thrust between them. He had to move, the need too great to try and slow down.

Justin moaned, his breathing staggered out in small grunts as he felt the driving push and pull of both men behind him. As he was taken again and again with each slap of Michael's body against and within his ass. His hard-on was buried beneath him, being pushed into the bedding as they all moved. The friction of dampened sheets against his skin, almost enough. Squeezing an arm under himself, Justin took his cock in hand - jerking it as he climbed closer to his peak.

"Ahhhh, ah." Half way between a gasp and a cry, Brian's voice rushed out - sounding with each thrust into Michael, with the feel of being inside of him. The reality drove him to move faster, to take harder. And it thrilled him to hear Michael's moaning appreciation. To see Michael moving, while caught in the middle. The man looked hungry, desperate. Blissed out on a sexual high.

Grabbing Michael around his waist, Brian took control of their rhythm. He moved both himself and Michael with the power of his pounding hips. When he thrust inside, so did Michael. When he pulled back, the man in his arms did too. Until all three men were a senseless mesh of intertwined bodies and animalistic grunts.

"Fuck, fuck...ahh." Justin cried out, shuddering. His body felt on fire, sparks flashing behind his closed eyes. A writhing prism of sensation, half crushed beneath the relentless possession from above. And in an instant, he jerked almost violently and came in a rush. Shivering as he thrust against his own wet hand and the sheets under his body. Quiet moans still touching his lips, the sounds escaping as Michael moved inside him with a power of Brian's design.

Michael answered Justin's cry with his own as the tight vice of the blonde's body squeezed around his cock. Almost there, but not. He clung to Brian's arms, one across his chest and the other gripping his hip enough to bruise. Clung to the press and pull of Brian in his body, the madness it caused in his mind and fever over his skin. Willing, giving - surrendering the choice of how and when the end would come to Brian.

Michael imprisoned in his arms, against his body - and around his cock. Brian moved with new purpose. He watched half blind as Justin collapsed flat against the bed, and it was call to his next action. Flattening himself against Michael's back, Brian pulled backwards until he felt Michael leave Justin's body. The separation left Michael held up against Brian's chest, ass over Brian's kneeling lap. Until Brian arched up and deeper into the tight heat that clutched his flesh, causing them to rise with each thrust. In this position, Brian circled and beat his way into Michael's body - each time earning harsh sounds of pleasure that tickled over Brian's spine.

"Please, oh fuck. Brian. Yes....yeah, ahhh." Voice breaking with the effort to speak in the mist of his swirling tsunami captured senses, Michael begged. There was no pride, no need to doubt. Everything in an instant, and Brian's hand on his cock - condom thrown away. Brian's cock. Brian's hand. Brian's mouth on his neck, teeth sinking into his skin. Michael bucked as his world skirted the edge of darkness; Brian's voice a yell in his blinking consciousness. Then all was a crashing tide as Michael answered Brian's ending shout with his own - his body melted. Spent....

Home.

Balanced in Brian's hands, Michael mourned the loss of him as they separated. Drifting on the sensation of Brian's hands touching him, moving over his chest, thighs and hypersensitive cock - Michael sighed and turned his head for a kiss. Soft and lingering, until it ended. Michael went easily as Brian laid him on the bed, eyes closed as he took in the warmth and musk that mingled between them all.

He opened his eyes again when the mattress shifted, seeing a tussled sweep of blonde hair beside him on the pillow. Justin lay still, curved around his pillow, eyes closed. He looked.... Beautiful. Skin and hair glowing in the soft amber light. Michael smiled. He didn't hazard in the haze of his well-fucked mind to wonder why.

Another movement at his back, and Michael turned. Brian, lying on his side - watching him with soft hazel eyes. Looking for all the world like Michael had always thought he would. Satiated and satisfied.

Their eyes held as Brian leaned in and kissed Michael, touch saying more than either had the words for. Sighing as their lips parted, Michael closed his eyes and fell asleep - Brian at his side, hand in his hair.

The first rest in days he didn't have to fight for, or induce.

* * * * * * *

He could hear the sound of water, a shower running in the distance. It wasn't a matter of great concern to his sleep fogged brain, though somewhere underneath the haze he wondered at its cause - since he'd been the only one in the apartment since Ben left.

Ben...

Michael shied back from the name, snuggling down in the enveloping warmth of his bed. Almost on the brink of sleep again until some minutes later, the sound of drawers sliding shut close-by caused him to wake. Blinking to see in the darkness of the shuttered room - the light of the bathroom his only aid, Michael took in his surroundings. He was turned on his side facing the closet and bathroom, lying in Brian's bed. Brian's bed....

"oh..." The word left him in an almost soundless exhale, his recall vivid. Last night - Justin - Brian - and himself, fucking. Oh, fuck. Michael almost moaned as his awareness spread, his muscles deliciously sore from use. A calm settled through his consciousness as he absorbed the sensations road-mapped across his body from the night before.

So caught up in thinking about what had happened, how it had made him feel and wondering what to do now - Michael was surprised when he looked up to see Justin exiting the bathroom. A beat, silent and serious, as the two men looked at one another. Justin was dressed in his clothes from the night before, with one difference that had Michael holding his breath - not knowing what to say.

Justin looked down, following Michael's eyes to the burgundy sleeveless he was wearing. The one that Michael had worn the night before. The blonde grinned. He walked to the bed and knelt on the edge at Michael's side. Placing a finger over his lips in a 'shhhh' gesture, Justin nodded over Michael's shoulder to the other occupant of the bed. Speaking low, Justin leaned in towards Michael. "I've got early shift at the diner. Thought I'd fare better wearing this than the iridescent fuck-me see-through from last night."

Michael's answering smile quickly disappeared as Justin moved closer, crowding over Michael on outstretched arms. He held his breath as Justin spoke softly against his lips, "Besides, having your scent against my skin will remind me of last night." Quickly taking Michael's mouth in a kiss, Justin made to quench any flare of awkwardness that may have flashed through Michael's eyes. Reminding him of how they ended up as they were.

After a moment, Justin stood to leave. He looked back at Michael lying next to Brian as the man slept. Quirking his head in question, Justin asked, "We okay?" He didn't want what had happened, the night he'd instigated, to be the cause of any more pain or worry for Michael. Not after Ben. Smiling as Michael nodded, Justin said, "I'll see you Monday after class to go over the edits for 'Rage.'" One last look and he was gone.

Shaking his head at the circumstances, Michael listened as the loft door closed. He let minutes pass without moving, just resting with his eyes shut as he listened to Brian breathe. Countless times in their past, he'd done the same. Listened and looked at Brian as he slept - slept away the pain, slept off the booze or just rested beside Michael and dreamed. So again Michael listened, but he shied away from looking. For seeing him would mean the veil of his newfound confidence would waver, maybe before falling all-together.

The decision, the choice was taken from him as Brian's voice broke the silence. "How long?"

Michael shivered at the low tone of that voice, thick with sleep but aware. For a moment he played dumb, "Justin just left for the diner. Not long." He gasped in surprise as Brian jerked him over, fitting them together with both on their sides - Michael's back to Brian's chest.

The next word was impatient affection, "Mikey." The way Brian said it, the tone only served to repeat his first question. They both knew what he meant. How long since the breakup? But there was also a second meaning. Why had Michael not told him?

Pressing back, Michael turned his head to see Brian. Instantly held by the weight of things unsaid, but known that shown in Brian's eyes. Voice a reluctant messenger, Michael answered. "A week."

Brian pushed him flat, pressing him down into the bed before he asked, "Why alone?"

Looking up at Brian, hair a mess - dark stubble on his chin and neck - eyes soft brown mixed with the insistent light of his spirit, Michael lay beneath him unable to find words. How could he explain a fear he didn't understand himself? How can you say that you run from comfort when with the tables turned - comfort is chief amongst the things you'd want to give to him in the same situation? That needing to work through the pain made you wary of facing more hurt when voicing the need for love when love was lost....

In the face of this man and a lifetime of instilled defensive reserves that allowed Michael to love, and yet live without having all and everything - Michael said nothing.

Brian pushed back the spiked hair that clung to Michael's face, baring his friend's forehead as he touched it with his own. He treaded his fingers through Michael's, bringing their arms up to rest on either side of the dark hair covering his pillow. Their bodies flush; Brian lifted his head and looked into Michael's eyes. "And this?"

Shifting, as he lay trapped, Michael smiled - taking in the feel of Brian on top of him, enjoying the weight and his own body's response to having the man against him. Gaze falling to Brian's mouth, Michael's memory bombarded his senses with flashes of the hours passed. What they'd done had served to change things, he knew. Upped the ante as it were, for the better. Because now, here in the aftermath of desire - he felt strong enough to have the time to heal, the space to grow.... All while having Brian too.

When at last he answered, Michael spoke the truth of his heart. "No regrets." He'd loved, had and lost more than once. As it stood today, he'd had the one he'd loved the longest and they were not lost.

Brian took Michael's lips in a kiss, sweet and soft. Whispering then in a tease, "Little Mikey want to come out to play?"

Michael's laugh turned into a moan as Brian deepened the kiss. His mind on the verge of being seduced into foregoing the capacity to think; one thought did pass....

No matter the hard-line denial of a belief in love that Brian clung too. No matter the man past or future who held a place in Michael's heart, if not the whole. He and Brian were - even now in the mist of the fire, what they'd always been and would always be.

Exceptions, each to the other....

Always.

 

Finis


End file.
